Humor
My wife hosted a dinner party for all our  friends, some of whom we hadn't seen for ages, and everyone was encouraged to bring their children along as well.
All throughout dinner my wife's best friend's four-year-old daughter stared at me as I sat opposite her.  The girl could hardly eat her food for staring.
I checked my shirt for spots, felt my face for food, and patted my hair in place; but nothing stopped her from staring at me. I tried my best to just ignore her, but finally it was too much for me.
I asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"
Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior, and the table went quiet, waiting for her response.
The little girl said, I’m just waiting to see how you drink like a fish.”
In Memoriam
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment,
it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person,
which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote
"The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.
They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.
It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing. ‘Fishing,’ replied the old man. Poor old fool thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub. Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whiskey, the gentleman asked. ‘And how many have you caught today?’ ‘You’re the eight.’
Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Maria. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate is. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.” About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.” “You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.” So he sat won and wrote an email: I’m not saying that you “did” take the sugar bowl from my house; I’m not saying that you “did not” take it. But the fact remains that is had been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Your Loving Son, Anthony Several days later, Anthony received a response email from is Mama which read: Dear son, I’m not saying that you “do” sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you “do not” sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now. Your loving Mama